Rapper T.I. and Paris Hilton have a lot in common. They’re both pretty. They’re both rich. They both enjoy expensive automobiles and partying with P. Diddy. And they really like driving around with their significant others–oh, and also drugs–in their cars while on probation following jail time. Basically, they’re sensitive and intelligent people who always consider the outcome of any action before doing it. Great job, T.I. TMZ says:
The honeymoon is over for T.I. and his wife Tameka Cottle because TMZ has learned they were arrested tonight and booked for the alleged possession of a controlled substance.
Law enforcement sources tell us L.A. County Sheriff’s deputies pulled over the multi-platinum selling rapper and his wife in a Maybach on Sunset Boulevard around 10:18PM. Deputies say they smelled marijuana.
When searching the vehicle cops found a controlled substance. Law enforcement sources tell us the controlled substance was not cocaine, but rather the class of controlled substance that triggered the arrest includes methamphetamines and ecstasy.
The couple just got married on July 30 in Miami, and T.I. — real name Clifford Harris Jr. — is on probation after doing seven months in prison on federal weapons charges.
Law enforcement sources say both T.I. and Tameka were booked on felony possession of a controlled substance.
So T.I. obviously doesn’t stand for “think intelligently”. Or “truly ingenious”. Or “tergiversate imprisonment”. It might stand for “total intoxication” though. Or “tinkle imp”. Yeah, probably that one.
Paris Hilton has a long record of truth-telling, like when she told Larry King she’d never done drugs when on this site alone there exists about a trillion pictures of her smoking weed. Or that time she said her sex tape devastated her and she had nothing to do with leaking it but then was seen happily picking up royalty checks for it. Listen, Paris, no one will stand for your claptrap twaddle any longer, and that includes the Las Vegas police department, who are formally charging you with felony drug possession after your coke arrest. Hollywood Gossip reports:
Before Paris Hilton’s arrest, she said she was “extremely embarrassed” and asked the officer if she could go to the bathroom at the nearby Wynn Hotel.
At the hotel, Paris told the cop she needed lip balm so he handed Paris her purse and “As she began to open it, I saw a small bindle of what I believed to be cocaine in a clear baggie begin to fall from the purse and into my hand.”
Paris claimed the purse was not hers and that she had borrowed it from a friend. The cop questioned Paris about the cocaine and apparently, Paris gave an odd answer: “She said she had not seen it, but now thought it was gum.”
Paris says the cocaine was “probably her girlfriend’s.”
I’m so glad Paris carries her cocaine in a bindle. I hope she takes care to wrap it tight when she’s whittling nickels while riding the Chesapeake Western to North River Gap. That’s Ole Possum Joe’s line, and he don’t take kindly to newcomers tramping on his turf, see.
Say you were arrested twice in one month on suspicion of drug possession. And say, just hypothetically-like, that these two drug busts happened in other parts of the world. Maybe, oh, I don’t know, South Africa and Corsica. We’ll say those two, just for kicks. And say that because of something–could be dumb luck, could be because you’re in the public eye and you’re insanely wealthy because you’re the heir to a hotel fortune–the charges are dropped and you get off scot-free. What do you do? See, if it were me, I’d thank the stars, stay home, and for the love of all that is good and holy stop carrying drugs around. But not Paris Hilton! She’s special. Yahoo! News says:
Paris Hilton was arrested late Friday after a police motorcycle officer smelled marijuana smoke wafting from a black Cadillac Escalade driven by her boyfriend [Cy Waits] on the Las Vegas Strip, then found cocaine in her purse, authorities said.
Police later found a substance in Hilton’s purse that tests showed to be cocaine, Martin said. He said it was “a small amount” of the drug, a package of the size usually associated with personal use.
Hilton was arrested on suspicion of felony cocaine possession.
Waits, 34, was arrested on misdemeanor suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
If convicted of the low-grade felony, Hilton would get probation. Any violation of probation would be punishable by one to four years in Nevada state prison.
I guess it’s true what they say–trends really do come and go in cycles. Lindsay and Paris in jail, it’s just like 2007 again! Audioslave is totally going to reunite. Right after I vote for Sanjaya on American Idol.
Well. Shave my head and call me Peanut. Lindsay Lohan isn’t really a drug addict after all. Huh! Apparently that stuff in her shoes really was flour or kaolinite or whatever. And the sad, blank stare she’s affected for the past few months isn’t that of a post-binge downer, it’s just the look of realization one gets when confronted with the knowledge that a skunk with distemper is a better parent than Dina or Michael Lohan. TMZ says:
We’re told Lindsay has been “weaned off” all of her meds — Dilaudid, Ambien, Adderall, Zoloft, Trazodone and Nexium — and has had no adverse reaction. Likewise, she has had no withdrawal issues in the alcohol department. Bottom line — the docs don’t think Lindsay is an addict.
And, we’re told Lindsay was misdiagnosed in the past with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) — which is why she started taking Adderall. The UCLA docs say LiLo does not have ADHD.
UCLA says LILO doesn’t have ADHD? OMG! LILO FTW! YGG! ILU! LOL! SCUBA RADAR KFC.
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Pot. It rhymes with “yacht”. So it’s only natural that these two luxuries should be enjoyed simultaneously. It’s as if they were born to be together, like gin and tonic, or Katy Perry and Russell Brand. So we can’t fault unemployed bongstress Mischa Barton for waking and baking on a boat. Mischa is pretty much the #1 butt of jokes in the gossip blog world, but look at it this way: it’s the middle of the week. She’s on a private yacht, smoking a bone, in St. Tropez. Where are you? Sipping burnt office Sanka and kicking the ripped-up berber carpet under you cubicle. Advantage: Barton. What’s that you say? You have a “hang in there” possum poster in your cube? Aw hell, that changes everything. LOL @ U, Mischa, you suck.
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During the World Cup, skew-eyed hotel heiress Paris Hilton was busted for pot, but got off because she’s rich. Paris has a long and rich history of smoking the funny bud, and she didn’t learn from her South Africa snafu. In fact, on Friday she was busted again while traveling. US reports:
Paris Hilton was briefly detained on the French island of Corsica Friday after local authorities found less than a gram of marijuana in her purse.
The Corse-Matin newspaper reports the heiress, 29, was held after arriving at the Figari airport from Paris and released without charge. The paper adds Hilton was traveling with “people close to power in Malaysia” and was en route to Sardinia, Italy.
People (me included) are always busting on Paris for being washed-up and untalented and a dim bulb. But go back and read that blurb. She was on a French island. She was on her way to Sardinia. She was traveling at the behest of Malaysian dignitaries, and was allowed to smuggle her weed. It’s like she’s a glamorous superspy or something. Add Anita Pallenberg and a blood-changing doctor and this is straight up Keith Richards in 1971 stuff.
After the cut, Paris topless on said vacation. Look! Magic-Gro™ boobs!
Floppy-face weirdo Nicolas Cage is nothing if not entertaining. What a life he’s led! In addition to being a very popular movie actor, he’s been stalked by a mime, burgled by a mysterious nude man, lost all his cash, and has eaten the flesh of animals who had dignified sex. But nothing compared to the time he went shrooming with his cat. A few nights ago, he told David Letterman:
“I had a bag of mushrooms in my refrigerator. My cat used to sneak into the refrigerator and eat them. The cat ate them voraciously, so I thought what the heck, I better do it with him. I remember lying on my bed for hours and Lewis was on the desk across my bed and we just stared at each other for hours – not moving, just staring at each other, and I had no doubt that he was my brother… But having said that I don’t do that anymore. And you know what, later in life when I was completely not doing any of that, I know he said hi to me.”
Leave it to Nic to find a new and exciting way to neuter your pet: having it trips its balls off.
Those Mel Gibson tapes are so ridiculous that my ears are still ringing and I can almost feel his spittle flying at me through my headphones. I’ve had enough hate for one day. I want to turn from the dark side to the light. I want to read about celebrities building orphanages in Haiti or nursing a baby bird with a broken wing back to health. So I turn to a very unlikely source of sunshine, Lindsay Lohan. Everyone likes an underdog-gone-good story, right? Lindsay’s like the Bad News Bears only with coke heels instead of Zips. TMZ reports:
A source extremely close to Lindsay Lohan tells TMZ the actress has cut herself off from several prescription meds — including the powerful painkiller Dilaudid – even though she’s legally allowed to take them.
But a source close to Lindsay tells TMZ she only takes two of [her prescriptions] — Adderall and Nexium. As for the Dilaudid – we’re told LiLo was issued a prescription when she had oral surgery back in June, but she hasn’t taken the painkiller in several weeks.
Well, good on ya, Freckles. Keep it up. Also, a new promo pic from Machete has been released, and although there was talk that Lilo would be cut out, as you can see from the photo above, she’s still in it, looking badass as a nun licking a gun. Good practice for Inferno, I guess. She’s about to take communion all over her face.
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Handsome cad John Stamos and the lovely and charming Rebecca Romijn divorced in 2005. Nobody could figure out why, because they were both so delightful, but today we may have a clue. It seems that a trial began yesterday, in which a woman claims that in 2004, Uncle Jesse brought her to a hotel room, plopped her in a hot tub, plied her with strippers and coke, and tried to pretend it was tuna taco time. Oh, and did I mention she was 17 when this happened? Via the AP:
A woman charged with conspiring to bilk actor John Stamos of hundreds of thousands of dollars had a brief romantic fling with him when she was a 17-year-old high school student during a spring break trip to Florida in 2004, an attorney said Monday.
Defense lawyer Sarah Henderson made the allegation during opening arguments in the U.S. District Court trial of Allison Coss and Scott Sippola, even though the presiding judge last week ruled that testimony about whether the “ER” and “Full House” star had an intimate relationship with Coss would not be allowed.
Coss, 24, and Sippola, 31, are accused of conspiring to extort $680,000 from Stamos by telling him they had photos of him with cocaine and strippers. Prosecutors contend the pictures don’t exist, and FBI agents testified Monday they found no such photos while searching the defendants’ house after their arrest.
Henderson said Stamos, noticed Coss and another girl at a [Florida] club [in 2004], asked friends to bring them over and later invited the star-struck teens to his hotel room. Stamos ordered a drink for Coss even after she told him she was 17, Henderson said.
Two women who worked as strippers eventually showed up in the room with a bag of cocaine, she said, and Coss and her friend took a picture of Stamos bending over a table where the drugs had been laid out.
Henderson said Stamos and Coss later kissed on a bed and got into a hot tub together after Stamos undressed and Coss stripped to her underwear. She said Stamos offered to perform oral sex on Coss, but she declined.
Stamos eventually became frustrated, broke a bedpost with his hand and left the room before apologizing and inviting Coss to spend the night, which she did, Henderson said.
And here I thought the nadir of John Stamos’s life was “Kokomo“.
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Rapper T.I. and Paris Hilton have a lot in common. They’re both pretty. They’re both rich. They both enjoy expensive automobiles and partying with P. Diddy. And they really like driving around with their significant others–oh, and also drugs–in their cars while on probation following jail time. Basically, they’re sensitive and intelligent people who always consider the outcome of any action before doing it. Great job, T.I. TMZ says:
